Monthly Archives: September 2014

Seamless didn’t put creative thought into its previous ad campaigns.

So why would their marketing team do anything except plaster the L with another string of platitudes about living in New York?

Seamless1

For the foreseeable future this will be the view greeting commuters on the L, which is really only of note because it’s the primary New York subway line where you can’t look at much but the ads. There are virtually no non-awkward places for your eyes; off limits are the ironic Victorian baby stroller*, a crowd of girls in fedoras**, and a greasy subway pole with a stain that must be excrement, or fair-trade chocolate***.

The laziness here is bothersome. Yes, I live in New York. Ordering a car on my phone is a common part of the experience. I’ve also dealt with a shitty realtor, scoffed at tourists from under the High Line, and passed by the “Equinox Made Me Do It” signs enough times to understand that reference, if not the mythical body-sculpting that occurs within. If your ad campaign is simply an extended mad-lib of “Things Associated with New York”, then you’ve probably not done much creative thinking.

Seamless 2

                         How about that disposable income, am I right, Seamless?

This isn’t Seamless’ first shitty ad campaign. Subway-riders might remember last year’s uncreativity, a series of similar subway ads, each boasting a pithy New York neologism related to the extreme discomfort of ordering dinner over the phone. Think Soulcycle references. My friend Ellie Diberardino found the campaign, er, phrustrating…a word Seamless defined as:

  • Phrustration (n.) : That thing you feel when you call a restaurant to order food delivery.

Right, that thing you feel. Very good.

They were all sort of like that.

It’s too easy. I guess I realize that there are a lot of New Yorkers who refer to it as The City as if it’s the only one of those, but does a hot yoga reference really prompt the laughter of recognition? I guess so, since Seamless is back for round two, despite the campaign’s inherent disinterest in finding anything new to say. Which tells me just one thing with certainty: Seamless’ marketing team is contributing to the decline of American culture. Or they’re just annoying. Or maybe they’re geniuses and are getting more customers by simply filling out a template.

I can’t decide. Fuck. Italian or Thai?


* Avoid don’t-look-at-my-baby hysteria

** Obviously creepy

*** Probably chocolate, 20% chance human feces

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